This salon.com article about the passivity of US airlines in the face of ridiculous security checks and hysteria really got my juices flowing, especially since I have done my share of international and domestic flights in the past month, all of it on the tail of the London liquid bomb foil.

First of all, on the plus side, none of the six flights I boarded required a very long time for security. I always got there two hours ahead of time and always, always had an hour to wait around at the gate. This is including a recent flight out of NYC and another out of LA less than a week after the London stuff. So I am not so convinced that the wait time for security purposes has been that vastly increased. Passengers seem pretty organized and there are plenty of very clearly marked signs in all of the many airports I visited to let you know exactly WHAT you could and could not bring on. And I even got a bow from the security guy at Korea after I walked through the metal detector. What?!!

Saying that, the whole experience reminded me of the absurd and meaningless security checks I had to undergo daily while working for a news agency at the RNC in Manhattan in 2004. One day I was not allowed to bring in my daily yogurt, under no circumstances could I bring that yogurt in and it was dutifully taken away from me. (I bought a replacement at the in-house cafeteria.) Another day it was fruit. No fruit, absolutely no fruit and my apple was seized and thrown into a bin at the security checkpoint. (I bought my replacement fruit at the in-house cafeteria.) On a third, particularly rainy day, every reporter had their umbrella seized and thrown into a mounting pile of umbrellas, never to be seen again. No matter I thought, I'll just use the GINORMOUS umbrella laying around in the makeshift office used by the news agency. The umbrella which was apparently overlooked by the teams of security people sweeping through during the security lockdown a day before the convention began. They also missed a random razor blade I found next to my computer. Maybe it was a test.

The hardest part was keeping my mouth shut. Because at that moment in time, you did not under any circumstances ARGUE with these people or you'd get netted (i.e. have a giant net thrown over you) and thrown into a makeshift prison. Think I'm joking? Two employees of the news agency were "netted" while running errands in the streets around the convention and thrown in jail overnight; my partner's friend was "netted" and thrown in jail when trying to get to his apartment (the NYPD didn't believe him; better to err on the side of utter stupidity I suppose). I finally couldn't help myself and had to ask the NYPD officer who checked my drivers license every day at checkpoing number one blocks from Madison Square Garden what, exactly, was the point in checking my driver's license? To make sure that I could drive a car? To ensure that I had an identity? My RNC pass didn't have a photo of me nor did it carry my name. He said it was because on my way out they would check it again. I said well, actually no, this is the only place and time I am ever asked to haul out my driver's license. He said no, they check it again on my way out. Well, who can argue with such a fact? It was like living in a dream. But one of those pointless, afternoon dreams you have when you're napping where all you do in the dream is read a book or wash dishes.

I'm not saying these security people were stupid. Oh wait, yes they were. What I'm saying is that fascism is a bottom-up phenomenon. We let it happen. When some Jet Blue passengers freaked out last month because a guy of Middle Eastern descent had on a shirt that said "We Will Not Be Silent" in English and Arabic and the airline refused to let him board until he took it off ... well those other passengers who knew the whole thing was too lame for words and yet kept their mouth shut, THEY are the ones responsible for this mess. Dude, where's MY Arabic t-shirt. And yogurt. And tube of toothpaste.

Oh yes, did I mention that I smuggled toothpaste into a flight out of LA.? Toothpaste that had been given to me on a previous flight. I threw it away at the next airport and wondered, what does it mean that I successfully smuggled toothpaste into the U.S.? Absolutely nothing, I decided, and looked forward to my next in-flight semi-delicious meal which, by the way, was sure to include shiny, sharp metal forks!