Trolling

Just trolling the internet for fun Christmas Crafts!! for the kids on Saturday. Their idea, not mine. They also want us to teach them Xmas carols with accompanying dances. Demanding children. Anyway, I found this site for crafts for kids! And then they have a whole section on making candles for kids! I'm like, if I recall correctly, as a wee one I was actively discouraged from playing with fire. There's no way I'm giving those little stinkers the ability to burn themselves in their beds. On a lighter note, this reminded me of one of the few actively naughty things I did pre-high school -- when Tameka and I furtively played with matches in Tracy C.'s playhouse out in her backyard one afternoon. It was Tracy's idea, she was a bad influence. In honor of my pre-adolescent badness, I would like to present a list of the top ten naughtiest things I did before ninth grade hit and I had bigger fish to fry:

1) playing with matches in Tracy C.'s playhouse (see above)
2) Running across US 19 with my eyes closed during an eighth grade slumber party at Tracy S.'s house
3) Truth or Dare, seventh grade, in the back of the short bus on the way back from the Rennaissance Fair in Sarasota. Or the "Tard Cart" as my friend Hersch so eloquently puts it. It was the annual gifted kids field trip, and since we shared the same budget with the other end of the spectrum, we shared the same bus. Actually, if I remember correctly, we also shared some of the same students.
Hmm, maybe "gifted" doesn't mean what I thought it meant, come to think of it now.
4) Listening to a girl talk dirty about boys in the treehouse slumber party we had at my Christian best friend's house
5) Pooping behind a tree after telling my dad I didn't have to use the toilet. Well, I actually don't remember that, but I'm told. But that's bad. And I'm running out of fodder.
6) Slapping Melissa in my one and only cat fight.
7) Systematically emotionally and physically abusing my brother for more than a decade until he was big enough to beat me back, at which point I reverted soley to emotional abuse.
8) Drawing pictures of a nekkid lady in kindergarten while my boyfriend Tyrone looked on. He turned me in.
9) Willfully eating a chocolate bar in math class, for which I was severely punished.
10) Telling a girl in home-ec that her fake Keds were "bo-bos." God I was such a little bitch yech.

Okay that's it, the rest are lies told by lying liars!