Went out of my way to watch "The Inconvenient Truth" last night at the movie theater with my fellow journalist/yogi friend Joel (pronounced "Jo-elle" in Thailand) and it is as I suspected: we're all going to drown and then freeze 50 years from now. Great. And the US is responsible for most greenhouse warming but China is on its way. And Al Gore sounds like my dad which is why not enough people voted for him says Jo-elle (sorry dad). But maybe they will this time around after they watch his movie and learn that they or their offspring are going to die 50 years from now. Or maybe not.

The best part of the movie was when Gore used nifty graphics to show what would happen when the polar ice shelf melts (or just half of it and half of Greenland, which, by the way, is mostly melted already and can't freeze back up should temperatures plummet again in case you are wondering). He showed a map of Florida first (poor Florida) and inky blue water made my hometown of Crystal River disappear. I think even Ocala was gone. Then San Francisco, poof. Then Manhattan, and I was happy to see that our apartment in the Bronx was safe. THEN we'll see who is sitting on a rental goldmine. Next was all of Holland -- that's what you get for building BELOW SEA LEVEL PEOPLE. And the Dutch think they're so smart with their special cheeses and bicycles everywhere. Then he went on to all those third world countries where the other 40 million people would die or be displaced, but who cares about those places. Although I will note that it appears smarter to build up than out in Shanghai. And Beijing.

Okay cynicism aside I came out supercharged and ready to make sure my vote count since I already don't own a car. Unfortunately, when I called for my absentee ballot today at the Embassy I learned in the recorded message that consular services are only open for an hour and a half a day. Well at least they make it easy for you. And in case you are wondering, no, I'm not going to vote for Hillary. Okay that's a lie I am because I don't want the Republican to win, whoever the poor silly schmuck is, but I won't ENJOY voting for her. (I guess I should have voted in the primaries but I forgot all about it.) I WILL enjoy voting for Eliot Spitzer for governor. He's an honorary gay in my book.

Not that it matters that much since we're going to all die in 2056. This is why I only watch romantic comedies. Or funny Holocaust movies (see "Life is Beautiful" and "Everything is Illuminated").

Okay and I lied a little, consular services is open for a few hours in the morning, but only for an hour and a half in the afternoon, which is when I usually leave my cave. So it might as well just be an hour and a half.